The Art of 路人甲

aka﹕偏執狂之心歷路程

 

首先是沒什麼愛的Nike廣告﹐雖然我喜歡不少Nike廣告﹐但說有趣的話還是阿迪比較可愛﹐而且重點是﹐沒什麼路人啊…

 

這個是世界之花BOBO和南瓜做的一個很久以前的廣告了﹐在沙灘上的﹐上Youtube應該還能找到

出場不多是一個原因﹐但效果差也是成為路人的另一個條件(咳嗽)

 

 

然後就是阿迪出品的廣告﹐這個是04年歐洲杯的廣告﹐Road to Lisbon 

在截了這張圖後我突然覺得自己很悲哀…

 

更悲哀的是我是在手機上看這個廣告時發現Xabi的….

Raul旁邊那個是誰不要問我

 

 

既然有Xabi當然不可以沒有包子﹐這個是06世界杯的Jose +10廣告。 

包子出場也很少﹐不過至少能看到臉 

不愧是大眾臉夫婦﹐真是能完全融入背景﹗(豎拇指)

 

以下的圖﹐我想以此獻給我可憐的阿根廷扇子友人﹐雖然是因為你的囂張阿根廷才會輸的…

誰說Nesta沒出場的﹐你看這麼美好的一張正面圖﹐看不到是你們的無能

 

忘記標黃色衣服的是小少爺…

 

你看竟然有個腿的大特寫

 

所以結論是﹐Nesta才是最大的路人﹖﹖﹖﹖ 

 

個人覺得比起好兆頭還差一點﹐每次看到他在形容一個地方或者生物的時候我都會會睡著﹐不過這是一本很有愛的書﹐沒什麼空就先把第三本的一部份放上來(順代一提﹐指南第三本只有英文版﹐各位阿彌陀佛自求多福)

 

    Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged was - indeed, is - one of the Universe's very small number of immortal beings.

    Most of those who are born immortal instinctively know how to cope with it, but Wowbagger was not one of them. Indeed, he

had come to hate them, the load of serene bastards. He had had his immortality inadvertently thrust upon him by an unfortunate

accident with an irrational particle accelerator, a liquid lunch and a pair of rubber bands. The precise details of the accident

are not important because no one has ever managed to duplicate the exact circumstances under which it happened, and many people

have end up looking very silly, or dead, or both, trying.

    Wowbagger closed his eyes in a grim and weary expression, put some light jazz on the ships' stereo, and reflected that he

could have made it if it hadn't been for Sunday afternoons, he really could have done.

    To begin with it was fun; he had a ball, living dangerously, taking risks, cleaning up on high-yield long-term investments,

and just generally outliveing the hell out of everybody.

    In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn't cope with, and that terrible listlessness that starts to set in at

about 2:55, when you know you've taken all the baths you can usefully take that day, that however hard you stare at any given

paragraph in the newspaper you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and

that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o'clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of

the soul.

    So things began to pall for him. The mery smiles he used to wear at other people's funerals began to fade. He began to

despise the Universe in general, and everybody in it in particular.

    This was the point at which he conceived his purpose, the thing would drive him on, and which, as far as he could see, would

drive him on forever. It was this

    He would insult the Universe.

    That is, he would insult everybody in it. Individually, personally, one by one, and (this was the thing he really decided to

grit his teeth over) in alphabetical order.

    When people protested to him, as they sometimes had done, that the plan was not merely misguided but actually impoosible

because of the number of people being born and dying al lthe time, he would merely fix them with a steely look and say, “A man

can dream, can't he?”

 

不怎負責的中文翻譯﹕

 

    “Wowbagger無限延長”曾經是 - 正確來說﹐仍然是 - 宇宙中為數不多擁有永久生命的生物。

    那些生來就不死的生物﹐通常從他們一出生開始便知道要如何面對這樣的生命﹐但Wowbagger不是。事實是﹐他已經開始討厭那些平靜的狗娘養的。他的不死其實是由一次涉及無理份子加速器﹐一份液體午餐﹐和

    一對橡皮筋的意外造成的。意外的詳細過程並不重要﹐因為從來沒有人能成功的複製意外發生時的情況﹐嘗試的人要不看上去愚蠢無比﹐要不死了﹐要不兩者皆是。

    Wowbagger疲憊的閉上眼睛﹐播放點輕爵士樂﹐然後了解到如果不是星期天的下午的話﹐他或許能真的忍受過來﹐他真的可以忍受。

    一開始的時候充滿了刺激﹔他有膽有種﹐生活在危險邊緣﹐承擔風險﹐清理高回報長期投資﹐同時比任何一個人都和的長命。

    然後到最後﹐他不能忍受星期天下午﹐那可怕的空白的“需要做事情”的清單﹐在大概下午2點55分開始 - 當你清楚了解你已經洗過一個正常人一天應該洗澡的次數時﹐了解到無論你多麼認真的看報紙你也不會真

    正去讀它或者按照它所教你除雜草的新方法﹐了解到你所緊盯的時針將不請願的指向4點﹐了解到你的靈魂即將踏入漫長黑暗的下午茶時間。

    (這句話我不想翻譯﹐總之他很不爽整個宇宙和宇宙里的所有人就是了。)

    就是這個時候﹐他給自己定下了人生的目的﹐一個讓他活下去﹐而在他看來﹐直到永遠的目的。它就是這個。

    他要辱罵整個宇宙。

    那是﹐他會辱罵所有生存在這個宇宙里的人。單獨﹐面對面﹐一個接一個﹐和(這是真正讓他能咬牙切齒的)按照字母順序來。

    偶爾會有人向他抗議 - 這個計劃不但是完全誤導﹐而每秒中宇宙中無數的人出生和死亡的事實也讓這個計劃變得根本不現實 - 時﹐他訂著那人的目光像鋼鐵版﹐說﹐“一個人總可以夢想吧﹖”

 好吧﹐很久沒更新了﹐我終於回來了﹐首先前情提要﹕

 

現在我的生活作息時間十分正常﹐多謝大家關心﹗

 

 

言歸正傳﹐把我釣出來的其實是這幾張圖

啊﹗﹗﹗我好想飛回去廣州啊﹗﹗﹗不愧是養我7年的城市﹐連空氣都充滿了濃濃的愛﹗﹗ 

哦哦哦哦哦﹗﹗﹗﹗你看﹐多麼夫妻的排列啊﹗﹗﹗

包子結婚風波已經過去了﹗

 

可以無視右邊的那個人

Xabi你很鬼﹐你的衣服也很好看(對不起太久沒更新了沒幽默感)(淚奔) 

 

一下是幾張訓練的圖 

 

我比較奇怪﹐每次訓練的時候Xabi和包子都分在不同隊

拉法同志﹐你能解釋一下這是什麼意思嗎﹖

 

包子﹕(冷靜)聽說你說”費南多”了(看報紙)

 

Xabi﹕(正色)你看錯了﹐我是在說茉莉。

 

 

好了﹐現在是正式的前情提要﹕

 

阿根廷很不幸的被我和諧掉了﹐阿彌陀佛﹐啥啥啥天空上的雄鷹們你們安息吧﹐我會在你們墳前上香的了﹗

 

梅子也輸了﹐活該﹗哦也﹗﹗ 

這是工讀妹上菜市場買菜的和諧畫面

工讀妹﹕老闆﹐五花肉多少錢一斤﹖

 

熊被和諧了﹐和笨蛋迅速搭上的竟然是Ribery…

小心啊笨蛋﹗﹗禿頭會傳染的﹗﹗﹗你離他遠點﹗﹗﹗﹗﹗ 

結論﹕這麼鬼的人應該不會禿吧…

 

猛將兄因遭受家暴至今還沒恢復﹐怒火中燒的友人下通緝令﹐當然我們都知道這不過是虛張聲勢﹐各位請放心。 

 

所謂愛情的滋潤﹐笨蛋變漂亮了

而且還有這麼文藝的造型。

 

 

為了平息友人的怒火﹐送上這個 

老實說沒什麼開頭的

 

其實中國人的傳統一向就是有朋自遠方來﹐不亦樂乎

 

朋友之間沒必要計的這麼清楚麼…

 

 

會這麼說﹐是因為我老是覺得我欠下某個友人很多錢的緣故

印象中以前中學放學後借了不少Quarter都好像沒還的(小聲)

 

那就在這裡立個證吧﹐等我找到第一份穩定工作﹐我一定會請你去餐廳吃飯的﹗